The Truth About Jogger Pants

Here's a unisex style that I'm still wrapping my head around—jogger pants. First of all, jogger pants occur on a continuum (like so many things). This is the continuum, as near as I can tell: 

Pajama Bottoms----------Sweatpants-----------Jogger Pants------------Harem Pants 

At this point, I want you to ask yourself if you even want to be on this continuum, outside of your own home, that is. OK, if you answered, "Yes, I believe I'm exceptional enough to successfully rock jogger pants," then keep reading. First of all, jogger pants are really just glorified sweatpants with a large elastic band and/or zipper at the ankle. The waist is usually elastic, frequently with a drawstring. From a comfort perspective, they're a go-go; from a fashion perspective, a no-go. 

Call me old-fashioned, but I'm skeptical about items that are this wholeheartedly unisex. That's right: men and women can readily sport jogger pants; however, styling options vary between men and women. The commonality appears to be the option to up-style these uber-casual comfort pants. So, women can pair them with heels and a blouse, sweater, or jacket. I don't know about you, but if I'm going to go to the trouble to wear heels (and, let's be clear, it's a lot of trouble), I think I can take an extra ten minutes and scare up some jeans, trousers, or a skirt. 

Men tend to either embrace jogger pants as the athletic wear they are or by creating some sort of hybrid: sporty-meets-streetwear. 

Bottom line: jogger pants are riddled with contradictions and juxtapositions and this is the message they send: "I'm pseudo-athletic, overconfident, extremely self-aware, fashion-addled, and totally willing to take unnecessary sartorial risks." Either that, or it's laundry day. 

My advice, if a clothing item has the word, "jog" in it, take this literally.  

Unconstructed Wraps: Ponchos, Capes, and Shawls

Now that the temperatures have dropped a little bit, it's time to think about some alternate ways to stay warm. Ponchos, capes, and shawls are great because they combine the credibility of real clothes with the comfort of a bathrobe. Who doesn’t love wearing pajamas to work and making a fashion courage statement?

It’s possible to make this trend work for you, but you have to be skillful. For example, if you’re not careful, some of these wraps can fail miserably if they add too much bulk. Case in point, what I call "the bearskin rug shawl" will make you look like you’ve just returned from the Yukon Territory where you survived on nothing but whale blubber and caribou jerky. Avoid this look.

To pull this style off successfully, pair a poncho, cape, or shawl with black or indigo jeggings or skinny jeans and boots—ankle, tall, or over-the-knee if you’re feelin’ it, with at least a three-inch heel and a superhero attitude. After all, you’re wearing your magic cape. 

Besides selecting the best items to work with this style, you'll need to consider the color scheme with caution. Stick with neutrals:  camel, brown, tan, grey, and black work best; otherwise, you’ll look like you’re wearing a flag—and that’s never a good look. Whatever you do, don’t wear a scarf with this get-up, or people will think you’re a gypsy. 

The fabric is also crucial. Crocheted knit wraps will send the wrong message—like, this is my “I-have-the-flu-and-I’m-wearing-my-couch- throw-with-cat-hair ensemble.” Drapey cotton or woolen knits are the best and they’ll readily cinch up with a cute leather belt. Boiled wool capes will get you mistaken for a British detective, a la Sherlock Holmes—and not the hot Benedict Cumberbatch version. 

It doesn’t matter what you wear underneath it because it won’t show. So, by all means take liberties, go crazy—wear your favorite T-shirt, the one that says WTF?….or your knit pajama top. Obviously, this option will depend on your current mood. These items are truly a modern miracle, in part because you can eat as much as you want at the buffet and be totally comfortable. So, go for it, throw on a poncho, cape, or shawl, and don’t forget to twirl.