Trouser Jeans will make you a badass

What gives us power?  Money, fame, authority, big boobs?  Hmmm. Some might say yes to all of the above or some of the above, but we all know that power isn't handed to us and that just because we have it one day doesn't mean we'll have it the next. So power is fleeting. Wouldn't it be great if you could just strap some on like wonder woman's golden lasso? Oh she had it all: brains, confidence, beauty, a great body, big hair and plenty o' power thanks to that special lasso.

Y'know what? You can have the equivalent-- in the form of trouser jeans. That's right: trouser jeans will make you a badass. You'll exude confidence in trouser jeans. They don't just say Take me seriously;  they say Don't fuck with me! Maybe you're thinkin' that's a lot of talkin for a pair of pants. Well it is, but these are power pants so they send a strong message and provide

überconfidence. Trouser jeans should fit well, not too snug but they're definitely fitted. Remember, you'll be strutting, so they should hug your curves. They'll be indigo or black and they'll nearly graze the ground over your heels or boots (boots give you a natural swagger). The stretch component will keep everything in place but won't constrict--can't afford to be slowed down when you're ruling an empire or staging an overthrow. Maybe you're asking yourself if you can handle this kind of power. My answer to that is: you'll never know until you try. So strap on some trouser jeans, channel wonder woman, and go for it. Everyone deserves to be a badass.