Fashion Lexicon: Decoding the Jargon

Every group sets themselves apart with their language. Remember the first club you created with your friends when you were a kid? You probably named it something stupid, gave each other monikers, and maybe even came up with some secret words or phrases that only the group knew. Fashion is no different from this juvenile club. Still, it's easy to get sucked in, thinking "God, what the hell does "on trend" mean? How can I do it if I don't even know what it means. I'll never be stylish." No worries--I'll decode some of the terminology for you and add some of my own as a little extra. Then you can be in my club.

1. On trend: in style, fashionable at the moment, very current. Sometimes fashion people will try to persuade you to buy something absurd by calling it "on trend" so be wary of this one.

2. Monochrome and tone on tone: wearing all one color or all in the same color family, like the UPS guy or gal. Now, before you dismiss this, consider that dressing primarily in the same color family head to toe can make you look thinner and richer. In NYC, it's all black all the time. I prefer navy. It's not the new black but it's not old navy either. Forget school uniforms--navy is crisp, chic and slimming. Style it with a color pop--a bold necklace or a hot pink scarf. This one's a keeper.

3. Distressed: synonym: antique (furniture-yes; fashion-no). Distressed? Really? This just means the item looks worn or faded, maybe ripped and shredded. The only way this word should be associated with fashion is to describe an outfit that's pulled a 3-day drunk in Vegas or a leather jacket worn by Keith Richards. Move on and forgodsake don't combine it with tone on tone.

Now, I'll offer up a few of my own pet terms, so you'll be familiar when I refer to them in the future.

4. Bus station: mixing prints and/or plaids and possibly polka dots in the same outfit. You might see this one in a fashion magazine (or a bus station) on a freckled waif with tousled hair, and you might think it looks eclectic and carefree. You'd be wrong. No percent of the population can pull off this look successfully.

5. Prison chic: this oxymoron just describes head to toe denim. Denim's great; we all love it, but there's no need to get carried away. The only exception would be a dark denim suit--very fitted with a feminine touch like a ruffled blouse.

6. Duck mother: You'll frequently see this abomination during fall/winter holidays like Halloween and Christmas. Examples include sweaters with pumpkins or Christmas trees on them, sometimes combined with pants in a coordinating print (now duck mother meets bus station, and you know this is a losing combo). Let me be clear--do not wear giant themes on your body. You'll look like an idiot.

Remember, groups need their secret language to feel special, but fashion is for everywoman, so when you see a term like "colorblocked" don't be intimidated. It's fashion, not rocket science, which is more like paper airplane science.